In the Teenager's Room

*Based on several rooms of different children as I struggled to leave a relationship in 2016
 
Here in the teenager's room

Had to run when your anger ballooned

I've been trying to leave for so many years

but I've been staying due to kids and Bay Area fears

There's no place I can afford

To house myself and two 14 yr olds

So I stay here in misery

Letting you get the best of me

Teenagers and I, we are so alike

They sometimes don't see an end in site

They wonder why they have to go to school

They don't see a better light beyond a teacher's rules

Shirts and posters on the walls

Scribbled art from grade school too

Stuff you won at the county fair

Sports Trophies on the shelf show you're rare

Talented child, where will you go?

Who will you meet?

How will you know?

Who are the right friends?

What are the right choices?

It's hard to live by so many adult voices

A rock you painted a smile on

An entire shelf of hot wheels cars

A note from a teacher who connected with you

She saw you were special

and she really came through

A Star Wars poster

Just use the Force

Giants Foam Orange Hand

Number One in baseball land

A desk covered with every scrap

Of existense you've ever been at

Talented child, where will you go?

Who will you meet?

How will you know?

Who are the right friends?

What are the right choices?

It's hard to live by so many adult voices

A town away in a stranger's bed

Kindness that came from a beautiful friend

She's seen what I've been going through a long time

She's tried to encourage me to leave

Tried to tell me what's ailing me

Always offered to help me out

Now I'm here

It's a step

Beyond a doubt

Mom's moving away from a scary place

where she's belittled, yelled at and treated with disgrace

It's not so different than where you're at

Your struggles to find what you're good at

You're fighting the system for a way out

I'm fighting his existence

Trying to find a job

Selling a few things just to buy food

It's a story that's not so new

Being stuck with a man that's trying to control you

Talented Mommy

You have to cut him free

You can't live in misery

He's pulling you down, further and further

Your beauty is fading

Your heart is colder

You need to run now

Before you get any older

Sweet little sons

Please understand

I've run away from a desperate man

You father still loves you through and through

But the way he treats me is no good for you

I left so he would see what he's doing

A broken heart is sometimes the only way to learn

Right now he thinks he can win me back

But it's a typical cycle and he's just following a track

He's trying to show me how great he is now

But it's too little too late, boys

He's in for a great fall

Abusive Daddy

We're setting you free

You won't have to live in misery

Maybe someday you'll finally go to counseling

For the drugs, the alcohol and all the yelling

Remember when you road raged and almost killed us?

Remember when you slammed your son and threw all that stuff?

Fall asleep drunk with the tv on, oh

Bottle still in hand, mouth open "O"

You cling to lives you don't know how to feed

We know that you are cooking

but it's never been what we need

Talented child, where will you go?

Who will you meet?

How will you know?

Who are the right friends?

What are the right choices?

It's hard to live by so many adult voices

Especially when your Daddy's been hard

You haven't seen good choices to model your own start

You've both lashed out in your own way

You've had it rougher than many

Even though our town's ok

The lack of appropriate love

It's made you tough 

It's made you misunderstood

I'm so sorry it's come to this

I'm not running away

I'm running to something better

You will understand when things improve

I see it now

As your Daddy is trying harder

He sees what he's done 

He's trying to win back my love

He will have my forgiveness

But not my hand

He's learning how to be a better man

If he improves

You boys will improve too

This seems so hard

but it's a cycle that's been repeated

Where we'll all discover truth

Teenagers and I, we are so alike

They sometimes don't see an end in site

They wonder why they have to go to school

They don't see a better light beyond the teachers rule

Mom and Dad are separated

Now what's right about this new stage?

Mom's not here at night to stop his rage, but when she's away, he starts to behave

Sweet little sons

Please understand

I've run away from a desperate man

You father still loves you through and through

But the way he treats me is no good for you

I left so he would see what he's got to do

I am meeting new friends who can help you too

Music loving people

They know how to rhyme

We'll have a new home

In just a little time...

---

I've seen it all from a teenager's room

You need a better place to become you

Part of a Creative Writing Project: Letters to Geographer 2015-2016